My love story with Bengaluru
I hate you like I love you, I hate you like I love you, love you love you…
This flash essay is part of a collaborative, constrained-writing challenge undertaken by some members of the Bangalore Substack Writers Group. Each of us examined the concept of ‘BANGALORE’ through our unique perspective, distilled into roughly 500 words. At the bottom of this snippet, you’ll find links to other essays by fellow writers.
Even before we got married, my spouse had made one thing very clear to me “don’t expect me to settle down in Pune or any other city, we will settle down in Bangalore only. I wasn’t even sure what “settling down” meant at that point in time. I just nodded my head. I came to Bangalore as a young bride all of 21 years of age in the late 90s. It was a love-hate relationship from the beginning. There were so many things to dislike about the city.
The joint family environment was hostile, giving me lots of experiences I am not sure I needed. Or maybe it was a rite of passage like RCTs and tooth extractions etc.
And the auto drivers, such lovely people. I preferred waiting for hours for a bus rather than haggling with auto drivers.
What’s up with these people and their curd rice?
No vada-pav, how? How do you snack?
There was one thing though I particularly liked about the city. The BMTC buses. They were infrequent and bursting at the seams but they offered one solace that I never had in Pune. SEGREGATION. The bus was divided into half, all the men were at the back and all the women in the front. There was barely any place to move and the smell of the sooji mallige (on most heads) gave me a headache but it was better than men trying to feel me up or flashing etc. The bus fare was also cheaper than the fares in Pune.
“Hindi hamari rashtrabhasha hai1”, nothing is more wrong than this sentence, but for someone who doesn't know better this is the ultimate truth. I used to think why don’t any of these people know our rashtrabhasha, what is wrong with the South? I used to get away with “Kannada Gottilla”2 until one of my colleagues sat me down and said “Madam, idhu Karnataka, Kannada gottilla enthe helu badudu, Kannada kali beku.”3
When I started talking initially, people used to have a hearty laugh at my expense. Once a Kannadiga colleague sent this song link to me suggesting that this was how I spoke Kannada. But, nothing deterred me, I was like Inspector Jacques Clouseau in this scene from the Pink Panther. Over a period of time I learned to speak the language. I cannot say I am fluent, but I get by. During Covid break, I decided to learn to read one South Indian language. It was a choice between Malayalam (our native tongue) and Kannada. I chose Kannada.
Most Mills & Boon love stories have a standard theme. Girl and Boy meet, rub off each other at the wrong ends and then the rest of the book is dedicated to how their relationship evolves and finally they say the three golden words “I love you” to each other and live happily ever after.
Over the last three decades, the city has become mine and I belong to the city. Wherever I go, I miss my home, my Bengaluru. Now, when people ask where are you from I just say “Bengaluru”.
Hindi is our national language.
I don’t know Kannada.
This is Karnataka, you shouldn’t say I don’t know Kannada, you should learn Kannada.
Below is the list of the other essays in this series:
Looking Down over Bengaluru by Vaibhav Gupta, Thorough and Unkempt
Blossom Book House, Bangalore by Rahul Singh, Mehfil
A Walk, A Pause by Mihir Chate, Mihir Chate
Bookless in Bangalore by Vikram Chandrashekar Vikram’s Substack
Bangalore: A personal lore by Siddhesh Raut, Shana, Ded Shana
Bangalore,once by Avinash Shenoy, Off the walls
Bangalore Down the lane of History by Aryan Kavan Gowda, Wonderings of a Wanderer
Nagar Life by Nidhishree Venugopal, General in her Labyrinth
Belonging by Shruthi Iyer, Shruthi Iyer
The Street Teaches You by Karthik, Reading This World
The Wild Heart of Bangalore by Devayani Khare, Geosophy
A Love Letter to Bangalore by Priyanka Sacheti, A Home for Homeless Thoughts
Movie Dates, Bangalore and Them by Amit Charles, AC Notes
Between Cities by Richa Vadini Singh, Here’s What I Think
A Haven? Awake in Bangalore, by Lavina G, The Nexus Terrain
My love affair with blue skies by Sailee Rane, Sunny climate stormy climate
A City That Builds Belonging by Sathish Seshadri, Strategy & Sustainability
There and Back Again by Ayush, Ayush's Substack
Such an honest and heartful account of eventually a house becoming your home. This is so good. Keep writing. Keep sharing. Keep going.